This question carries so much shame.
But it shouldn’t.
You can love your child deeply and still miss:
- spontaneity
- uninterrupted sleep
- freedom
- your old body
- your career momentum
- quiet
- the version of you who felt simpler
This doesn’t mean motherhood was a mistake.
It means you are human.
Welcome to matrescence
Matrescence is the developmental transition into motherhood. Like adolescence, it can be disorienting, hormonal, emotional, identity-shifting, and intense.
No wonder it feels big.
What helps:
Stop making it either/or
You can feel grateful and grief.
Stay connected to selfhood
Wear clothes you like. Listen to music you love. Keep pieces of you alive.
Build your new identity slowly
You do not need to reinvent overnight.
Speak honestly
Silence breeds shame.
You are not losing yourself.
You are meeting a more layered version of yourself.